Self-Control

Chapter 10

Self Control

               Self-control.

               Many people in the world do not believe that Americans have self-control.

               Self-control is defined as : control or restraint of oneself or one's actions or feelings.

               In some cultures – like the Japanese culture – the self-control of feelings is held in high esteem by certain branches of thought including Bushido and certain types of Buddhism.

               Inazo Nitobe puts self-control under Bushido, or the Code of the Samurai as “The discipline of fortitude on the one hand, inculcating endurance without a groan, and the teaching of politeness on the other, requiring us not to mar the pleasure or serenity of another by manifestations of our own sorrow or pain.”

               If we look at it that way then in some ways Americans lack self-control.

               But it is a matter of opinion or point of view.  It is known that Americans will face things with great fortitude and endurance – so in that case – Americans do have self-control.

               As for enduring hardship without a groan – this is not something that Americans do well.  Sometimes during periods of great stress you will hear moans and groans or complaining in general.  This is really just thinking out loud.  It is a quest for an answer.  It is a verbal way to seek a path out of the difficulties and so is not a measure of weakness but a notification that the spirit of those in difficulty has not been broken and they are thinking their way out.

               As for politeness – we have already discussed this.  American Politeness is exhibited in many ways.  The best way to offend someone is to ignore them.  A confusion in etiquette is not so bad as not attempting communication at all.

               As for not trying to mar the pleasure or serenity of others by manifestations of our own sorrow or even joy – public disturbances or demonstrations do take place in the United States and people are allowed to express themselves.

               They may find someone to help them or someone to empathize with them or they might just get in trouble.  It depends on the circumstances and how they are expressing themselves.

               Even in light of great suffering and tragedy Americans are expected to present themselves with decorum but at the same time humanity and freedom of expression are held high in estimation.

               To Americans self-control, like religion, can be held false if it is intended only for appearance sake.  For example – if someone is pretending to have self-control when they do not or do not wish to have it they are being false.  The same is the case with religion.  It is considered beyond bad taste and even evil in some cases to put on a false front of religious behavior or belief while doing bad things.

               Self-control is not repression.  If some forces down the feelings of irritability, anger, hatred, or even mirth and laughter it is still in the soul and mind.  Self-control means finding a way to avoid the bad feelings or unnecessary mirth in order to do what needs to be done in the situation presented and to move on to higher thoughts and expressions of self.

               In America there are many things that one can become upset at.  Unnecessary noise, pollution, violence, drugs, corruption, excessive drinking – the list is long and fills the courts and jails with problems and human tragedy.

               Self-control is a way to avoid those traps and pitfalls so that your energies may be more rightfully be put in the pursuit of those legitimate goals that you have set for yourself in life.

               You can still respond to the ills of society or unpleasant things in your environment but with self-control you will be able to do that in a measured sense in the way that it needs to be done so that you do not lose too much time in the pursuit of your own goals.

               Self-control means self-control and not control of the outer environment or the actions of others.  One cannot lasso the wind nor can you bend the will of another to yours.  Even if you could force someone to do what you wanted to do – then you would be in the region of criminality.

               What are your goals in life?  Is something hindering you reaching them?  You can take those steps to remove the hindrance, go around it, over it, under it or through it.  It is important to keep in mind that the actions associated with the thing hindering you should not replace the actions you need to take to fulfill your goal.  You will know what to do.  If you have come this far this may sound like common sense to you – but it needs to be said because some people do become lost in the fight and when the battle is done they are just as lost as when they began.  Sometimes they are in a worse position because they cannot recall what it was they had started fighting for.

               Self-control is an expression of mercy and kindness to yourself.  There are currents and thoughts in the world and in American society that are obviously wasteful.  Let us take for example a beer commercial.  We are shown people frolicking in some sport or activity – many times sports or activities that should not be indulged in when drinking alcohol – and the people are always well-dressed, well-groomed and healthy.  When I see these advertisements I often ask myself – what are these people drinking for?  What are they trying to escape or what are they trying to attain by getting drunk.

               Of course the advertisement and the product manufacturer (the beer maker in this case) will deny that they are making drinking alcohol to excess look good – they will assert that they are only advertising their products to people and suggesting they drink responsibly.

               The reality is that is not how those companies make their money.  Beer makers, liquor brewers, cigarette makers, gambling houses – they are not founded on and flourish from people acting responsibly and taking just a sample.  They are found on and flourish from people consuming these things in excess.

               Why do some people drink or gamble to excess?  There are many reasons.  Why do many people do it too much?  There are many reasons.  Why do some people overdo it once in a while?  There are many reasons.  Why do some people use the products ‘just enough’ to be perfect?  I don’t know.

               If a person drinks to excess to escape their problems are they escaping their problems or have they just chosen one known problem in exchange for the one they can’t figure out?

               If a person gamble incessantly is it because they are trying to reach some imagined goal or are they running away from the loss they just had?

               The point I am trying to make is that self-control is a personal thing.  It cannot be dictated to us as Americans.  It cannot be advertised to us.    It is clear that many companies are dictating these rules and reasons even though they are not rules and they are unreasonable.

               It is really none of their business what Americans do with their products but in order to increase their business they have put a face on the activities that does not match the realities.

               As for how the world views America and the United States, I will quote Martin Luther King, great American Statesman and Orator,  “Our scientific power has outrun our spiritual power. We have guided missiles and misguided men.”

               In today’s conflicts or continuing bloodshed there are actually being used self-guided missiles that fly over a thousand miles and are controlled by someone tens of thousands of miles away.  These missiles fly through the night or day spying on people and if considered necessary they are used as flying machine guns or remote controlled exploding bombs.

               Whether self-control is found in that set of circumstances anywhere, I am afraid I cannot tell you.  I must ask, though, is this the sort of thing that someone or some nation can get wrapped up in and forget or obscure their legitimate goals?

               Robert Burns, a famous poet once wrote, “Prudent, cautious self-control, is wisdom's root.”

               If a problem presents itself does one drink it out or gamble it out or think it out?  A prudent, cautious American would use self-control to think it out.  In this case some people might believe that the prudence of an American is weakness but consider for yourself what would be the case if that prudent, cautious American, who, after exerting self-control and arriving at a wise answer has decided that the best thing to do is fight.  From a national standpoint we must be cautious in how public debate goes because it is all too clear that if the logic in the United States runs to ‘fight’ then that is what is going to happen and the fight will be carried on until it is declared over or it is extinguished under its own weight.

               The problem with the military-industrial complex in the United States is another issue altogether and will not be dealt with here except I will say that it is something, I believe, that would be wise for you to consider at some time.

               Alfred Lord Tennyson, another famous poet, wrote, “Self-reverence, self-knowledge, self-control - these three alone lead life to sovereign power.”

               The point here being that if you respect yourself (self-reverence), know yourself and your motivations (self-knowledge) and exert directed in your life (self-control) you will be able to move towards your goals without getting in your own way or having circumstances carry you away from them.

               Self-control in this case does not mean cutting yourself off from your desires just because you desire them.  I am not trying to express some religious or philosophical ideal.  Self-control in this case just means avoiding or not doing those things which are likely, to a the idea of a prudent person, to make you lose your way or slow your progress towards your goals.

               What goals are worth striving for?

               These are all personal – just like the tool that you use to reach them is personal.

               Self-control can be used to work towards owning your own home, getting a good job, providing for your family in such a way that you are satisfied with it.  If you encounter a difficulty or impediment self-control can be used to overcome it.

               Marcus Aurelius, Roman Emperor, wrote this, “You have power over your mind - not outside events.  Realize this, and you will find strength.”

               It is another way of saying that your attitude is what makes the difference.

               Benjamin Franklin, great American Statesman and Scientist had this to say about self-control, “Educate your children to self-control, to the habit of holding passion and prejudice and evil tendencies subject to an upright and reasoning will, and you have done much to abolish misery from their future and crimes from society.”

               Mistakes happen when passions are allowed to run wild.  It is reason and the use of it that can bring the best results to all involved.

               Self-control is not to be used selfishly though it is a personal thing and can be used to selfish ends.  It is a tool and a learned set of reasoning skills that will allow you, your children or your friends to move through a series of events without being distracted by those things which are not of value and which may be put there to mislead or deceive.

               Too much ease, luxury or even wealth can spoil the mind and soul if self-control is not exerted.  There are many sad stories in the media concerning the children, friends or families of persons who have achieved a life’s worth of goods and money and yet have suffered tragedies of immense magnitude.

               Self-control allows us to be centered in our lives and desires so that tendencies to wander or miss the mark can be avoided.

American Self-control can be conceived of as a matter of balance.

               While working or spending time with family or doing something else if there is an untoward event which occurs then self-control can be exerted to by-pass the problem or annoyance so that your attention may continue to be focused on the matter at hand – that is – the matter that you are most concerned with and interested in.

               Deception is the main root and tool of what is known as the ‘Art’ of war. The ‘Art’ of waris not the only destructive craft but it is clearly the worst one.

               In order to avoid being tricked, derailed or slowed down by duplicity of someone else , circumstances or your own misguided thoughts, you can rely on your own sense of self-control to see through  to ensure the outcome that you foresee and desire.

               Spurious arguments – that is : arguments without which reason – which are raised during a disagreement by some clever individuals intent on achieving what they want at all costs may be countered by applying self-control and concentration.

               It is not necessary to actually counter spurious arguments with logic. Maintaining self-control will allow you to by-pass them.

               If it proves necessary all that is required to eliminate the spurious argument is to call attention to their meaningless content and pointless inclusion into the discussion or disagreement at hand.  This is often all that is necessary to destroy their ill-formed concepts and any impression they have made upon the people attending or involved in the discussion or disagreement.

               Spurious arguments have the appearance of logic but are not logical at all.

               Let us take an example.

               Some people are sitting around talking. They just happen to be Americans.

               One of them starts talking about some matter they have read in the newspaper about a local politician and their involvement in some business deal.

               This person asserts that they have investigated the matter to their best ability and can see no fault in what was done.

               A second person says that they have also investigated the matter to the best of their ability and see fault in what was done.

               A third person throws in the spurious argument that no one can trust politicians because they all lie and there is no way to get to the specialized business information needed to make a logical judgment or decision regarding the matter.

               The third person’s argument in this case is spurious.

               First of all, not all politicians lie and even those that do may not lie all the time. As for getting the ‘specialized’ business information mentioned – there are ways to get business information. Even if those normal avenues are blocked then that is a piece of information that can be used to decide, as an American with vested interests in the outcome, what has happened and what to do about it next.

               The spurious arguments put forth can lead to a paralysis of action. Inaction or silence can be interpreted as agreement – and so – if there had been a necessity for someone to speak out – either for or against the situation in the example – and the spurious argument was allowed to derail the series of events that had already begun then, if indeed the politician in the example had been lying and the company involved had been doing something wrong then it is possible they might get away with it.

               The negative result is a bad outlook for American citizens on their government and ways of doing business, the success of bad people doing bad things and the general growth of ignorance compounded by inaction.

               Self-control exerted upon a situation like this might politely dismiss the spurious argument and continue in with the discussion or series of events that are likely to unfold if responsible, caring and intelligent Americans become involved. The affairs of government in the United States are not closed off to citizens. The affairs of government in the United States are the responsibility of citizens.

               It is through self-control that honest and dependable responses may be made to troubling circumstances or help and assistance provided to issues in need of the same.

               What do you want out of your life?  What are you willing to do to get it?

               If you are honest, hard-working, industrious, caring and have a degree of self-control you will likely be able to achieve much of what you want to achieve.

               Bad hearted people are sometimes apt to make gains for themselves – but not without lasting damage to others and ultimately to themselves.     Bad hearted people who lack self-control are very dangerous.  They are easy to spot.  Much easy to spot than people who pretend to be law abiding when in fact they immoral in action.

               The best way to make a way for yourself is to keep good company.

               Self-control is more than just avoiding drink or bad things.  If a desire for these things is strong then self-control is actually used to replace the yearnings for these things that waste time and waste lives.

               It is not easy for some people to gain self-control but just because something is difficult does not mean it should not be done.  The harder it is the more merit it has to do and do well.

               Self-control – rather than leading to repression and denial is one of the keys to gaining and enjoying true Liberty.  American Liberty has many expressions, enjoyments and accomplishments.  Liberty is what we will discuss next.